Listening is Not Nothing

My trip to Nepal and thoughts on the ministry of listening

I traveled to Nepal last month to listen. Seems like a long way to go to just listen.

I was on one plane for 18 hours next to a man who insisted on coughing in my direction without covering his mouth. The travel was tough, if I am being honest, mostly because sleep is hard to come by for me on planes. I spend most of my time marveling at everyone who is sleeping - trying hard to be happy for them.

And all this made me think - how important is listening anyway?

I have had a long, convoluted history with listening. I grew up thinking that leadership was basically, well, talking. Whoever talked the most was, for all intents and purposes, the best and most capable leader. It’s taken me a long time to value listening - and to subsequently cultivate the practice of it in my life and leadership.

And then after a while, I began to consider myself a pretty decent listener. But I have been humbled along the way.

Nothing will humble you more with your listening skills than to raise teenagers - or any small humans, now that I think of it. When they actually share words and sentences in your direction, you should listen. Duh. But for some reason, that is really hard for me. I mostly want to say the things I know - the things I want them so badly to know.

And then there was that meeting with a mentor early in my transition to the executive team of a large church staff. She asked me how the transition was going. I mumbled something about it going “fine I guess…I mean, all I do is listen.” To which she replied to my surprise, “Oh, how wise! So you are practicing the ministry of listening?!”

The ministry of listening? What in the world is that? And yet I knew better. I knew in theory that listening was more essential, more crucial than I recognized. But I felt I was doing nothing, contributing nothing and definitely leading nothing. I had underestimated the value of listening again.

But listening is not nothing.

Excuse the double-negative but listening to others - hearing their stories and concerns - is something. Listening is powerful. It’s not just a good onboarding tactic. And it’s not a way to hide out or play small either. It is a gift we can give one another. It is a ministry.

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We have an amazing example of listening. When we consider the life of Jesus in the Gospel records, we see a good amount of red letters - teachings and discourses. But what I failed to see for years was all the questions Jesus asked.

Jesus asks a lot of questions.

Why? His divinity makes me think that He should not be so curious - He probably knows the answer already.

And yet He asks.

When you take all four Gospel accounts together, there are over 100 questions that Jesus poses. Surely this holds implications for us.

Venture is a missions organization that serves in really difficult parts of the world. Justin and I try to be around this community as often as we can. A small group of women met in Kathmandu, Nepal to learn from one of Venture’s ministry partners that works in anti-human trafficking. They have developed their ministry over eighteen years from housing a handful of rescued girls, to having a presence at every major border station with India and to training daughters with job skills for their future life. It started with the leader listening to one woman’s story.

The trip was life-changing. I did not share much. I ministered by listening, if you will. And it was more than worth it.

We don’t need to travel far to practice this. We can do it today - we can make space to listen to God, to our loved ones or to a stranger. God will mentor us in this because it is near His heart. Amen.

For more information about the amazing work Venture engages with, please check out Venture.org.

A Few Questions Jesus Asks:

1. Why are you terrified? (Matt 8:26)

2. Can any of you by worrying add a single moment to your lifespan? Matt 6:27

3. [To the Blind man] Do you see anything? (Mark 8:23)

4. What were arguing about on the way? (Mark 9:33)

5. Who touched me? (Luke 8:45)

6. If even the smallest things are beyond your control, why are you anxious about the rest? (Luke 12:26)

7. What are you discussing as you walk along? (Luke 24:17)

8. What are you looking for? (John 1:38)

9. Do you want to be well? (John 5:6)

10. Do you love me? (John 21:16)